Like alot of political wives before her, Cindy McCain has done alot of stupid things.

To name a few:

-Failing to release her and her husband’s tax returns like all of the other presidential candidates and their spouses have done thus looking like her and her husband have something to hide (which they probably do!) plus also fueling the fires that she is nothing more than a privileged elitist rich bitch which is a name that the majority of Democrats call her behind her badly dressed back.

-Criticizing fellow Republican party member, George Bush’s administration for not deploying enough troops during the Iraq war like she’s some kind of mathematical troop expert (Hey Cindy, I hate to be the one to break it to ya’ honey but you ain’t no John Nash!) thus fueling the fires that she is nothing more than a privileged elitist rich bitch which is a name that the majority of Republicans started calling her behind her badly dressed back after the George Bush troop deployment thing. (Hey Cindy, if you don’t think that the president sends enough troops over to the countries it’s fighting against in wartime, why the hell don’t YOU enlist in one of the services and take your ass over there and add one more soldier to the fight! I dare you Cindy! I triple dog dare you!)

-Giving a totally lame excuse when she got caught trying to rip off some recipes from The Food Network and pass them off as her own on the McCain campaign website thereby fooling absolutely noone because not for one minute does anybody think that this chick actually cooks her own meals when she probably has an army of minority servants to do it for her.

-And the stupidest thing of all, stealing drugs from the American Voluntary Medical Team (AVMT) which is an organization that she founded whose purpose is to provide organized trips for medical personnel to provide emergency care to disaster-struck or war-torn third world areas to satisfy her own drug habit. (Hey Cindy, good going Florence Nightengale! Maybe you should make friends with Amy Winehouse! Plus Cindy, always remember that rich girls don’t marry poor boys and they also don’t steal drugs they buy them!)

People let’s face it, when it comes to doing stupid things, Cindy McCain is the queen!

But for all of her fuckups, this rich chick has done one thing right.

She don’t have no Bumblebee Hair!

(Thank you Cindy! Thank you!)

For those of you out there wondering what the hell Bumblebee Hair is, i’ll tell ya’!

Bumblebee Hair is a scary epidemic rapidly sweeping the globe. It is a condition in which a person with black hair dyes their hair a lighter color usually blonde but when their black roots grow back they don’t redye them the lighter color LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO! Thus giving their hair a bumblebee-like appearance. This individual basically walks around with two shades of hair color. Usually it’s black hair on the bottom and blonde hair on the top which equals Bumblebee Hair!

And congrats to Cindy! This chick may have done some stupid things in her lifetime but when it comes to hair maintenance this chick keeps her hair dyed right and tight! Literally! (Loud-ass snicker!)

P.S. I mean sometimes Cindy has her hair pulled back so tight that I think her face is going to tear apart! Yuck! But I digress.

So listen up Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton, if you two chicks ever think about dying your hair a weird shade of white bottled blonde like Cindy McCain, follow her example!

If you’re gonna’ dye your hair a crappy color at least make sure that when your roots grow back that you dye them the same crappy color.

I mean, keep the maintenance up so when I look at you your hair doesn’t make me wanna’ throw up but simply make me want to snicker at you behind your back a little.

Remember potential first female president or first black lady, keep America beautiful by making sure that your hair is one color NOT two colors!

P.S. This hair rule does not apply if you are a skunk, a leopard or a crazy-ass basketball player by the name of Dennis Rodman.