Hey employers, do you want a surefire way to piss off your employees and bring down office morale, if so then get the Barracuda!

And no, I am not talking about the ray-finned fish known for its large size and fearsome appearance.

Again no, i’m not talking about Gordon Gekko, ya’ know the greasy-haired white guy from the 1987 film, Wall Street, that used aggressive, selfish, and sometimes unethical methods to obtain his goal in business.

By the by, kudos Michael Douglas for a kick-butt performance!

And I am certainly not talking about the kick-butt song recorded by rock band, Heart.

I wish!

The barracuda unfortunately that I am talking about doesn’t kick-butt like Ann and Nancy Wilson, it sucks eggs!

No offense, employers. I know that you guys and dolls have bills to pay but why bring in the muscle to the office?

Why bring in..................

(Loud sobbing!)

Boo hoo hoo!

The Barracuda Web Filter.

No! No!

Office chicks and *icks, the Barracuda is an integrated content filtering, application blocking and malware protection solution that is powerful, easy to use and affordable for businesses of all sizes.

Dammit!

It unfortunately enforces Internet usage policies by blocking access to Web sites and Internet applications that are not related to business, and it easily and completely eliminates spyware and other forms of malware from your organization.

No more productivity loss trying to repair computers or make computers usable again. It blocks access to Web sites based on domain, URL pattern, or content category. It also blocks downloads based on file type and blocks applications that access the Internet, including IM, music services, and software update utilities. It integrates with “safe search” filters built into popular images search engines and provides integrated gateway and desktop spyware protection.

(Loud sobbing!)

Boo hoo hoo!

No more MySpace, no more online banking at Bank of America, no more Ebay, worst, no more porn! Which basically means, no more life at the office!

(Loud sobbing!)

Boo hoo hoo!

Sometimes technology can really suck eggs!